Suicidal Bliss Poem by naomi deluca

I couldn't believe i would think this
A hint of suicide, life I would surely not miss

I couldn't believe it would happen to me(does anyone ever?)
Jealousy of others leading me on, surely it was foreseeable
My eyes in bewilderment, aching to do the unthinkable

What was it to live?
When happiness was never there to give

Some people had everything they ever asked for,
But it wasn't enough they wanted more

I wasn't one of them, but i was a witness

She had everything to the bowels of her feet, her modesty the worst
When i gazed at her, my heart would protest, almost burst

It sickened me how jealous I was
I became deadly to myself, despicable it was

I couldn't help it, death always slipping my mind
I wanted to end it already, let myself unwind

Death became my best friend
And when it ended I could only wish I had time to mend