The Ballad Of The Black And White Cat (With A Very Long Tale) Poem by H E Alexander

There is a cat, a cat I know
That's black as soot and as white as snow,
A cat so fat, a cat so large,
He lives inside a large garage.
He has a tail, a tail you see,
That's two foot long (and inches three) ,
He lives across the railway line,
But wanders over from time to time.
An errant in search of fun and mates,
Would you believe, inside " the gates! "

Not one mate, two (both owned by me) ;
Has he not heard of moggy monogamy?
No desire to observe cat propriety,
He's intent on proving his virility;
He does not care where he spreads his seed
In his attempts to increase his breed.
Not a breed like the sleek Siamese
Nor proud Persian, or benign Burmese,
Just a flaccid feline of doubtful origin,
Longing for lust and hell bent on sin.

Until one day, he, in my garden saw
A big and bold yellow Labrador.
No choice now, but to abandon his plan,
Away from canine jaws he ran
To escape sure death in feverish haste
Around the garden he was chased.
Through the bushes so thick and dense
Until he reached the perimeter fence,
Up and over the cat did flee
Across the line to relative safety.

A lesson from this tale be learnt
Before this cat's tail is singed or burnt:
He's more than likely to come-a-cropper,
Should he return to Frinton "proper! "