Everything in me starts turning,
as a darkness gently shrouds.
The blood within in me begins burning,
as it creeps in with the clouds.
What I see is concerning,
all my fears now awake.
The universe is clearly affirming,
this twilight is opaque.
My soul inside me churning,
with all my life at stake.
Every action must be discerning,
any chance I must take.
Wow, I've read a handful of your poems and now I must stop and comment. You're a very powerful and talented writer/poet; your rhymes and rhythms reminds me of some of my works. I will read all of your poems in time. Thanks for reading mine.
It's good that you chose to keep one rhyme a constant in the poem; that'll always make the black a little more impending. It appears clichéd at points so you might want to look out for that. My favourite line is definitely: this twilight is opaque. It sits in the middle like the heavy thickness it is. I like that.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
The title of the poem appropriately represents the text. Nice choice. 'The universe is clearly affirming, this twilight is opaque.' - certainly, the best two lines of the poem.