The Chutzpah Proclamation
Hereby let it be known by all in sum,
In pursuit of commerce well rewarded,
I now lay claim to the entire continuum.
Let this title be officially recorded.
In recent times, large scientific enterprises
Have been accorded total rights
On that vital stuff of life that comprises
Basic components - DNA. This action thereby invites
A move more bold, more generally inclusive.
I therefor seek a patent on the universe entire
From the inevitable point of heat death
Back to inception, the eclat of primal fire.
This is, of course, a stake of considerable breadth
And substantial small components have had prior claim.
I leave to others the motor car, the sailing ship, the plane,
The refrigerator, the thumbtack, and gadgets, more of the same.
Also evanescent concepts, most created in vain
Like infinities, eternities, imaginary asymptotes
Such as perfection, good and evil, stock market value,
Uncorruptable officials, justice, promissary notes,
Wisdom, fountains of youth, internet offers to corral you.
Also I would leave unclaimed Hitler and Ghengis Khan,
Stalin, Nixon, Mengele, the black plague and leprosy.
Included in would be strawberries, chocolate, parmesan,
Roller coasters, pop-up toasters, fireworks and democracy.
Also put my mark on Mark Twain, Mae West, Lewis Caroll,
Lincoln, Shakespeare, John Donne, J.S. Bach and Mozart,
And a host of others - I have their names in a barrel.
Technical drawings are in process, some finished, some in part.
Deities who are interested in a franchise
May submit bids at equitable amounts.
To contact me at an early date would be wise
So that I can research resources and bank accounts.
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(4 April 1928 - 28 May 2014)
(10 December 1830 – 15 May 1886)
(March 26, 1874 – January 29, 1963)
(12 July 1904 – 23 September 1973)
Edgar Allan Poe
(19 January 1809 - 7 October 1849)
(28 November 1757 – 12 August 1827)
(1 February 1902 – 22 May 1967)
(31 October 1795 – 23 February 1821)
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