The Death Of A Loved One Poem by sir Frederico Von Dubois II

High Above the white church spire, a bell rings out heavy clank, shocking wave tones in the church steeple.
Grabbing me through my ear, shocking echos with every swing translating, shaking me to the core.
A chill runs up my spine and knocks into my brain.
Where disbelief and reality are embroiled in a knock down drag out.
My hearts jumps into my throat.
a lump, so big in my throat, it makes me choke.
A pounding in my chest, my heart, so hard it broke.

Cold, crisp, air so thick.
Autumns breath stings my lungs.
My soul is frozen cold.
My eyes filling with emotion.

The church stairs and door look so queer today.
I stumble to the pew and sit down. blank stare.
I want to cover my face.
Holding back tears churning like a tidal wave, churning at sea.
Ready to crash down through me at any moment.
My eyes are full.

I stare at your casket. You can't be in there. I want to cry.
I am not ready to say good bye.
Forgive me, the mass is a blur.
I'm overwhelmed, it flies by.
clanking of the priest swinging a smoking lantern spews incense trails fills the air.
The sound of the pallbearers breaks into silence as you are wheeled out.
Waiting, a black hearse, door open, they slide you in for one last ride.

Standing blank stare.
The smell of fresh loam stings my nose.
I grab at the brown dirt and hold it tight.
I open my hand and the dirt trickles down your casket to earthen hole it lay.
Staring at your casket draped in a flag of Red, White, and Blue.
My mind is exhausted disarray.
My eyes soaking my shirt with a wave of tears.

Hark! My heart cries out!
Not a single note to pierce the silence of all those paying respect.
My body shaking, wrenching, quivering to the core.
Death staring at me with no face, shaking fear at my soul awake!
Flooding my chambers beating heart with deep, searing pain.
The presence of death drives Love's dagger deep.
Bleeding my heart insane.
You are gone. But why do I feel this pain?
A piece of me died with you. A hole in my heart remains.

My mind gears are whizzing, now.
Out of nowhere comes a shout.
Do not lose faith!
Don not be consumed of Death!
Life is not Death!
It cries out!
I look around but no one heard those shouts.
How queer. Was it my heart that just cried out?

Hole in my heart sucking air.
It's time to say good-bye.
I can't believe your gone. I'm not ready.
Good-bye. I love you. I'll see you again.