The Feelings I Lack Poem by Alyssa Marquardt

I must be strong for Mama and brother
So I hide behind my encouraging laugh
The confident smile
that shows the feelings I truly lack.

Mama's eyes show no bliss
Brother has no disciplin.
I am missing the strong hands
that give me care,
and punishment.
The loving touch that gets me through each day.

We walk around like nothings wrong,
Like it's normal that we fight.
But underneath it all,
we know,
that nothing is right.

'I'll be there soon enough, '
Is it what you told me through the phone
But that doesn't bring you back
or make me feel any less alone.
'Babygirl, it will only be a short while, '
about as short as the long miles
that keep us apart
but I agree and smile
And feel the breaking of my heart.

And I try to forget that your so far away
Try to think of the day that you'll be home
But even then
I know it won't be long
before you'll have to go again


We're stuck in a violent whirlpool
That never wants to stop.
From side to side and bottom to top.
Spinning at a pace that only gets faster.
Living in a race we can't win.
Every second I am searching
To find common ground with time
But no matter what I try
Your there, your here, your gone again.
And my heart just keeps spinning
It speeds up and slows down,
shakes out my tears,
isolates my fears
and spins my aching heart around.

But I must be strong for Mama and brother
So I hide behind my encouraging laugh
And the confident smiles
that shows the feelings I truly lack.