The Howler Poem by NAYYAR SHABBIR AHMAD

Whenever Englands overpaid, over praised,
and overrated footballers are called upon
to play for Queen and Country, you can bet, they’ll let their fans down-
substantially

The many TV armchair pundits
are in-part, to blame for an English fans heightened
expectations

Before the game begins these smart-alecks of the box
heap endless praise
on the Home Team
and make pronouncements such as
“Normally, I never make predictions - But, somehow,
this time, I’m quietly confident that, the English will excel themselves -”
whilst slaging off the opposition
as a bunch of somewhat, “unseasoned aspirants! ”

When the match actually takes place
England usually gives what it’s most familiar with:
a rather mediocre performance


The opposition goes home elated
While the armchair pundits refuse to admit that
their judgement was wrong, in any way, shape or form, or that they ought to moderate
their crass stance in future
Only the average English fan is left to go home feeling deflated

But, what of it?
The next time, football fans switch on their Tellys
The pundits will be ever ready to raise their hopes of an eminent crushing defeat
While the lack-lustre English Team will be close behind to dampen any chance of a decisive victory