The Mad Bride Poem by Ivo Cosentino

To you who have cruelly lied,
Forget that I am myself your bride!
Forget that I am myself your muse!
For you have also derided my fondues!

I admit I'm somewhat obese
I admit I barely shower
but I got you once a nice flower!
and I cook very tasty geese!

To deflower me you refuse
although I beg you on my knees!
You always make up an excuse!
You even said that I have fleas!

You even aver that my feet are unclean,
adding that a stench they emanate!
And I dare deny that you're straight,
as you got a fright out of a sardine!

When I observe your unmanly gait,
I'm convinced that you're not straight
You girlish mannerisms prove me right
as well as your time spent with Mr. White!

I will move with Mr. Wast!
Life will be nice and sweet!
Happiness awaits me at last!
He does not criticize my feet!

I won't give you another chance
Our life together is now over,
you can have Mr. White as your lover
He might teach you how to dance!

Bye forever, nasty nincompoop!
I faced you with all my moxie!
I don't care you don't find me foxy!
You'll never again taste my soup!

Another cook like me you'll never meet
Not even in years, not even in eons,
You know not which ruminants bleat!
And you know nothing about epicureans!

Having chosen to say bye for ever,
I will search for somebody more clever!
Whatever happens to you I care not,
Because we shall not tie the knot!
When I'm slim and slender you will say
that you want us to live together afresh,
yet you'll never again touch my flesh!
Oh! I'm going! I'm going away!