The Memory Child* Poem by Kondwani Simwaba

The Memory Child*
I look in the mirror to see the man I have become, it kills me to know that y'all no longer see me for the man I truly am; I am well aware of the message my new behaviour sends, but understand my pain is enveloped behind this smile and I only pray for deliverance but I am already stamped with shame...
You look at me from afar with disgust, casting upon me judgement for all my wrongs like the courts; I could say I am only human hence I err but that's the oldest excuse known to man; I admit I am not holier-than-thou, but you dont understand just how many demons I fight against to survive; See! Everyday is a battle so I take refuge behind the pen and attack with words, because this is the ony things that really gives me comfort...
The look on her face as she sees me walking could tell you just how much disappointment she has for me; Forgive me for smiling at her cuz I am well aware of her feelings, but humor has always had my back; that's why most of you will never understand just how many battles I fight daily, so next time you find me talking about success, understand this, me and failure once walked closely together like a dream couple...
If only you could look past my dances in the club; If only you could look past the mere words on my pad; if only you could look past my sins; if only you could look past my gimmicks and if only you could read between all these tiny lines only then would you really fathom why I scribble words on paper like this, only then would you really comprehend why, I am called The Memory Child*...
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