The Pain. Poem by Elle McKay

can you stop
didnt think so
neither can i.
neither can it.
this will never end,
i've tried to stop the
pain and
everything that comes with it
but
in this time
all is futile
and nothing is worth it
everything is less than the
pain and
the solitude, away from the people and
the sunlight
for emptying my stomach
i have an empty one
nothing to bring up
though i often feel like retching
even these blackened cells
are filled with the
pain and
suffering of others
who have endured before me.
the end of this begins
when the self-induced
pain and
punishment goes away.
maybe that starts with me, but
i
cant
make
my
demon
leave.