The Perpetual 'she' Poem by Austin Jones

blooms of smoke
stemming from my lungs
breathe in deep
kill the thoughts
for they flower
bloom and grow
the thoughts buried deep
inside my soul
why I ask
again and again
a broken record
my few true friends
repeating myself
for I cannot find
an answer to my
question
my rhyme
the only question I ask
why I
am
untouchable
unlovable
why
I
am
not even considered
can you tell me?
ma'am
my friend
can you tell me
in this moment
time
so dark
why I am he
lost barren stark
What am I doing
so very wrong
that they see me
not worth a chance
I can dance
play
sing
write
lift
build
throw
shoot
love
with all my heart
protect
care
be 'just there'
with all my self
and yet they search
the perpetual 'she'
for another guy
who is so
heartless
hurtful
damaging
who only thinks
of himself and his wants
his image
so
why my friend
am I
untouchable
not worth a chance
nothing
ever
but
a
friend
a seed
for a plant of great beauty
one who will give
all that he is
for you
no matter what
stay late
sleep next to
hold tight
celebrate with
console
help through
why
my friend
am I
not worth a chance
to the perpetual 'she'