The Person I Once Knew Poem by Natalie Clyne

Thankyou for the tips John. However, when i wrote this poem it was personal to me and i did not write it for everyone else to understand. It is abstract, yes, but matters of the heart are deep and few rarely understand them. I'm sorry if this sounds at all harsh but it is the truth, i write many different poems to do with different topics and many of them most people do not understand and will never understand. The person I once knew is about a real person and about something that really happened to me, i needed to write down my feelings and so i did.

Natalie...you have a lot of feeling in this poem, which is the backbone of any good poem, but you're not finding an original approach to the subject matter. Make this guy real (but feel free to make up whatever you need to) , even give him a name, describe him, what exactly he did that made you love him. Good poems are filled with things and not so many ideas and abstractions. If you want an example of what I'm talking about, look at the poem I posted today, 'One Fine Day.' It too is a love poem. I'm only here to suggest strategies, not to tear down your poem. I like the fact that you are not tied to worn out rhymes.