The Reasons I Cry Poem by Sa'uda AbdulAziz

Its simple,
I'm afraid!
Afraid that one day,
everything that i worked
hard for will come to an end

Although I know it's my reality
I find myself woundering how my life
would be if the one man that birth me
was still around to groom and nurture me

You see its been 25 years
since the death of my father
Yet to this day im left to wounder
How it feels to have a man around
that's willing, able, and always ready
to protect my Honor

I searched and searched for that type of love
in all the wrong places not knowing that i'd be
all alone left to fend for myself while tryna stay
strong for these three little faces

Wanting to show them so much
with so little time because i was left
to be the head of the household
with no remorse from the man that promised
to be the one to Honor, Respect, Protect,
Substain, & Maintain the faimily he was so pressed
and eger to obtain. Instead he left me with nothing to
show for but a wet @$$, passed due bills, & a heart
full of hatred and pain

I consume my time with school and work
hoping that they will comprehend that life isnt guaranteed,
Hard work does pay off, and lessons are better learned
through their own actions and deeds

So many thoughts running threw my mind
at times it's hard to deal with
And No, this isnt a poem
it's a few of my thoughts and feelings
I promise you that im not a poet...
Im more of a realist