The Sulabh Museum Of Toilets, Delhi Poem by Sheena Blackhall

Do you squat, do you sit
When you're having a s...t?
It's a matter of personal choice!
But in Delhi, I've heard, every tinkle and turd
And urinal is given a voice

Senor Salvador Dali kept daily a tally
Of all that emerged from his anus
In China a poo to the sty from the loo
May feed pigs, keep them living in gayness

Fish toilets with carp, when their hunger is sharp
Polish off every faecal emission
While King Henry the Eighth, bared his buttocks with faith
That his groom cleaned his bum with precision

In Oz you might meet with beneath the lav seat
A black widow spider that bites you
In China a rat, or a snake might emerge
From the toilet to greatly excite you

From honey pots, privies, cesspools andcesspits
Commodes, and ye olde thunderbox
Be very aware that before you sit there
Nothing waits that might blow off your socks!

In Japan, (how effete) , they warm a toilet seat
And blow dry your quivering hips
Long ago, the UK, in a fanciful way
Had a ‘treasure chest' for hunting trips

Roman Caesars of old, peed in potties of gold
Marcel Duchamp's Fountain, though fey
Just a simple urinal, so starkand so final's
Worth over a million today!