The Thought Of I - Poem by Alexander Coppedge
I during my life piled up my wish filled dreams and put them forth in aiming, hoping fulfillment in their ambitions: to see.
I tried in my earnest intentions to fair well and be my most; I to earn some being: obtaining plus more than others about me believed about me.
I did come to be entitled and I earned their great honors in high grade rewarding, meriting those top rates through efforts: I achieved.
I in my infant confusion realised the need for me to be a man, me being sadden in my learning: their honoring were all worthless death schemes.
I strolled before knowing in a covering fog slowly coming out, I studied long endeavoring hours coming to this truth in a dramatic shock: aware!
I doing years at full trust crossing between my studies, faithfully I did sacrifices then, because I was blind at that time: I did in them believed.
I in my lost touring years of my known life was offered a few promotions: me in fear denying what I felt as bad welcoming doors.
I fell a target aimlessly in my blindness running from them, me being trapped within their cage: my compromising of their righteous equation.
I didn't want myself to be found in their evil partaking, me non-sharing to others and solely having to be mean: to lower the poor.
I stumbled in my efforts but I found standards in my falling: I would not feed their madness, nor I their raging Beast roaring.
I was viewed in their concept by their eyes a captive here to serve them: they seeing me in their concept perceptions as me below them.
I was theorized to be lesser valued held in views of me in needing, me to them lacking I a to be: higher gleamed in life being.
I cut away from their constant downing and went without them venturing, walking in their cage: cautiously life's rough rigid course.
I in a tour of uncertainties down a trial I had to go me in pondering, walking so timidly: me going down lonely dark alleys.
I remembering thought pleasing during schools time in going, my hard determined earnings as I researched: coming to my views of real to be facts.
I continued my studies outside their watch, learnt there was a universe evolving in advancements: I lacking about its changing existence allot.
I was found to be tricked by them, a fool to be played as a single cell amoeba: I in their view was confused in my knowing and must be taught.
I had a real job in steel they watch me under their feathers, hard laborer working but their enemy, living life's struggles me touching bills ends.
I was happy by low living this displeased them, I was comfortable with my life making them angry: I dwelling in beliefs as poor me a common dude.
Inside thoughts hiding my misery, a clown's secret I thought none else knowing, my assured fact of its proof if I maintained my path: I would die.
I quickly turnt rather death occurrence I curled its outcome instead of me falling I stood tall peering: watching them upon shoulders of giants.
I to their vision tiny, I did among my brethren, I stayed not active among: who thought themselves, once as I smart and tall in my state of being.
I crossed the blue void above in my spirit reaching for answers, me wiping my hands against space: for response from its life filled sky.
I rapidly shuffled escaping attempts of death into small holes escaping, running from their assaults in fear: fleeing exterminator like a large rat.
I frightened by them and intimidated from birth to current aging, stuttered until my bitten tongue bled: gritting firm times my tongue hard upon my teeth.
Seeking my plot in wilderness tortured, lost in my aimless walking, me visiting a grave encountering others distance lives: men as I being a good man.
I heard the voices of our earth past ancestor's anger in raging outbursts, cries to their children demanding them to repent in thunder: unheard.
I long ago tumbling and funnel haven fallen in hell bottomless pit and cried: my joy turnt back and filled in views with tears of many despairs.
Efforts attempting escape I was living; not dead was I, not found in hell's walls as I saw people screaming: them as lost souls trapped inside.
I to escape had to cross hell's river in exiting, riding its waves of flaming pressures: me to cross suffering but terminating as I went its endless lies.
I out of hell's grip shattered, countless mental pieces without anyone of the living dead beholding: me dragging a gigantic sack of truths so wise.
I come to final conclusion dropping finally to end in full circle all my enduring, ending my thinking of mind endurance: I endured in all journeys I tried.
I in complete honesty about myself to be known nothing about me, I to know nothing more about myself no given absolute reality: I no more than,
Poet's Notes about The Poem
I'm still laughing inside that star into the darkness The fun side I mounted, I went, I stood, I laughed, I walked, I heard, I cried, I crossed and I come
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