The Two Poem by ethan stalder

Im scared, im angry
Im choking, im strangling
Im sorry, im not listening
Im a coward, im a killer
Im confused, im amused
Im dead, im alive
I can no longer strive
I cannot live with myself
After killing myself
I needed the other side
In order to maintain my life
I was angry
But now im sad
He was me
And I was him
We were one
Before he died
I killed him with my hands
I just hope he understands
I was stronger than him
Now I am more grim
He wanted me to stop
But I wanted to proceed
But now I regret this dreadful deed
Its in my nature
Its in my blood
Something he never understood
I had to do this
It was my duty
It was not my cruelty
I had to do
What had to be done
It was a task
Not for fun
He was my friend
But enemy too
He had to go
So I made him leave
im only a half
my other side is in the past
I was two but now im one
And I cant have any fun
I did not want to be propriety
But I was conformed by society
I had to kill him in order to fit in
Im lonely, im helpless
Im empty, im crying
I want to see him again
Because he was my friend
So I use this razor in my hand
So that maybe I can understand
What its like to be him
To be happy and not grim
To show a smile instead of a frown
He brought me up when I was down
I hope he will forgive me for my doings
I did not want to do the choosing
I am me who was him
Who just wanted to fit in
But I rather be excluded
And have a friend who knew it
I see him now
And he is happy
We are dead but alive
More alive than before
We will spend eternity with each other
I rather not with another
Im thankful, im glad
I forgive, im no longer mad
This is the day when I killed myself