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The Year of the Rat
bu-bon-ic plague: a contagious disease characterized by buboes, fever, and delirium
for days sirens hurl winding shrieks bubble lights flashing red yellow red yellow white linen sheets no, drapery rises and settles on the feet no, the hands are pulling it back again “can you hear us” they say and scurry on down the shaolin passageways the tunnels, or catacombs she lies in stretch 105 mercury degree rising measure quicksilver following break cascading and soaring could have reached 108 no one knows faces, fingers, reappear pumping machinery struggling writhing throughout stomach, throat, eyebrows knitted, pursing lips blood-drained pallor cheeks they push and force tug and pull away plastics snapping eyes, heels part fading far farther white the tunnels open wide haunting dark red caverns tiny obsidian chip eyes peeking through the watchers those without fear of man I can only spectate as she slips into recall
dancers on toe chaotic climax extremities held in tight circles bent elbow, dainty toes, black-gray claws ears slicked back like a scorned, angered mare whiskers gleam, tails streaming along to the dance the dance the Mardi Gras the Coup d’état the Marathon They Shoot Horses Don’t They? their bodies wrapped in fur as if they should be dressed, primped, combed frenzy filled they touch lightly almost a ballet, or tap, no, free dance they are free from restraints from being minor mammal suddenly they huddle gangly approach to center like a sneak-up dance exchanging excitement they plan, this is no instinct, they prepare, premeditate mutinous recapture of the den those tunnels outside, they were not built by hares the urine odor was not left by infants dancers left this trace to forewarn intruders
a single mother, newborn, and infant, move in escaping her pistol-wielding spouse lucky to be alive she tells herself paying the burly biker landlord every dollar she saved for their escape, battered, bruised, splintered dreams, she cradles both babies climbing into the green hand-painted slat board crib nurses one gives a cracker to the other
marching onto the so-called shelter they appear through every hole in ceiling, wall, and floor a double dozen, or more, they make their way into the rooms leaping with ease their foot and foot and a half from nose to tip of tail lengths lumbering onto shelves, formica counters, the one antique dresser riddled with wormholes, teeth gnaw continuously turning solid matter to Swiss cheese in the den, the sheetmetal mobile home
the mother covers the sleeping innocents she clutches an empty 2-liter glass Coke bottle in the right hand and iron claw hammer with rough, splintered wooden handle in the left she tells the pack, the herd, the congregation these are her children she says this with her eyes she wedges herself into the corner of the crib staying guard through weary length of night, she swings on occasion when one ventures close—range hoping to take a finger as the lost child from Birdtown lost toes to these years ago gnawing, growing teeth in hopes of taking the taste of milk from sleeping baby lips she connects at least twice each night she never sleeps the nightmares allow the rulers victory dragging bones, her children’s, from their teeth like game trophies to be hung below floors she dozes midday in the car with no gas and no floorboard her babies tied to her she never sets them down
“They are like tigers” her dad told her “never corner them, they become as panthers as Bengals” he told her long ago she wishes he had a phone or that she had one to get a message to him that he was right that they are here to prey on the living, larger mammals man she remembers her mother’s screams at walls and stove ventilation raving conversation with tormentors no one else could see and leaving at thirteen her brother pounding her face with fists and pool balls his favorite hobby her father hard at work every day as if he could work away the madness her sister fleeing six weeks before packing one suitcase as if it were an overnight remembering the way she said “when they dance, they have it” she knows this true firsthand, she observes performance the ritual it terrifies her the dance, the dance, bounding, leaping closer here. she defends the trench of trailer, the foxhole crib they lie in while the rulers plan strategies and taunt her
amazed at their aggressiveness she wishes for a gun, or knife, a better implement to fight with during this night they are especially close the light, that one single line, precise between earth and sky both pitch that clear blue white line appears to break day, crows caw outside the owls make roosting sounds the watchers chew and twitch before jumping to floor, scattering to holes and scampering out of light into the ground tunnels into the underground the den beneath this floor like vampires retiring to mausoleums to choreograph the “ring around the rosy” for the new dusk to come den of daytime they sink into tunnels like bats in daylight with the same ammonia-filled stench
the young mother closes her eyelids momentarily only to seal them slightly the pull so taut black rings below she slides over the crib railing releasing bottle and club no, hammer she thought it a club wish splitting manifestation she changes babies and feeds them all she can then bundles them and ties them to herself her sister once called her a pack-mule babies cling like koala bear clip-ons they know nothing of the danger she raises them from she wraps a big towel around the three of them covering her shoulders with a faded car coat they leave the den leave the lights on repelling rodents in their absence they walk the small mother carrying the full load of three kicking stones along the way remembering days before days of war on homefronts racing from attacks knowing that for her there is nowhere safe to run a single brown sedan flies by them on the long stretch of highway they amble alongside of between steps they sigh the gravel thickens as they reach the country store the wooden ramp under her feet they enter
making way to shelving, hunting hardware, holding careful watch they locate traps twelve inches long she lifts four and then four again, lays eight on counter she pleads for credit writing promise on colored paper the owner looks at her at the traps looks at her again double-take spine erect she loads courage in her eyes agreement reached, she raises the bag he dropped them into retrieving items to count eight she works up a pressed curve of lip into slight smile they
return, armed the babies know nothing she thinks and tells herself she’s doing all she can to take care of them and at least their father can’t kill her now she is bigger than these dancers these new adversaries these barons of the earth almost as ancient as the roach though twice as evil she imagines them tremendous dragons and plans masquerading carnival invitational trap once again inside the den mobile home
the trailer is decorated in Early American cardboard she never unpacked on seeing the rats the tiny woman gathers boxes, these boxes she sets in appropriate positions, vantage points, they secure at night they place scoops of commod peanut butter and oil on the trap’s triggers and pulls back the springs tucking in tongue catch, setting force, she lays them ever so gently deep inside corrugated cubes ripping newspaper hoarded in her car trunk to shreds she gently, ever so gently lets the shreds and strips fall like crumbs of snow from her fingers filling entirely the space above the bottom, center-squared sharply pulling back her hand to let them “lie in peace” masquerading as nesting materials for those who come at night for their underworld home below her feet and the crib’s legs
the sky outside casts over deepest gray, telltale coal clouds surround the meadows out in the open lightning time begins the strikes stab sky bolting toward the metal walls and roof she quickly places the babies into high chairs the chairs’ legs safely set into eight decaying sneakers four under each chair the pots and pans on the steel stove top dance from surges untamed electricity lights the burners all four knobs read OFF over orange-red coils bouncing cookware the dead motor in the air conditioner buzzes, jars and tries to turn over though when she turned it ON herself this strain never occurred light bulbs hanging exposed from the ceiling glow brighter with each lightning stroke charges ignite and leap at times from sockets the rubber soles of old shoes protecting babies barely she has done this before stranded during storms in previous escapes her husband always found her as if his sonar hits were more direct than lightning the baby caught in everything then there was one, now there are two the three a family by blood and flesh clap and crash thunder pounds sheet walls shimmy vibrating from pressure and forces living, ruling eventually the rains join the streaks and dance in electrical fallout the drops and sparks fire and water
she sweeps the floor watching the window the black dung pellets left overnight flying out the doorway day passes like all the rest this year the dancers will spin years of dreams night terrors dark cyclones filled with black eyes scraping, gnawing, teeth but that is far into the future she is here in the now shadows skip sundial night falls as a shade night shade night watch the dancers clamber out of chambers onto the porch out of the sliding glass doors she carries the babies to the bright green crib and lulls them to sleep Indian songs she sings she cradles them in her arms until the slumber is sufficient to last the night time she takes the bottle that glass 2-liter in her right and the iron claw hammer in her left and makes ready she catches the dancers bounding so elegantly, so gracefully she catches sight and smell of the dancers
they watch her as well creeping closer together they huddle tails entwined they scheme, slink away, file into formations taking the walls floors and ceiling by storm combative stances they laugh her off through the night she connects a few again though they relish their glory as kings she nothing but a damsel
the largest dancer a gift from Europeans a giant from Norway—the King he is a tyrant and always taunting her this time they get bored in this game and leap showing off their egos inflated they bound into boxes to play with shredded stuffing and quench the desire for government-issue peanut butter trigger snaps tongue catch and springs f l y sending steel over backs and bones and fur four times then rear lines follow four more snaps the others have no heart for fallen fellows and continue the taunting closeness edging toward her babies dodging glass and hammer claw the game so merrily played throughout the hours in this night in the long month of September this time she feels some sort of security
when crack-light dawn breaks the still sky the survivors retreat she lifts the first box the rodent’s dead weight makes her sick even though she cannot see it through the shredded papers still filling space covering the body weight and smell fill her with fear that it will jump toward her sight unseen and lay its fangs into her skin she casts the box at least twenty feet out the door
she slowly walks over to inspect its contents the cadaver lies back broken twelve or more inches long she wants to throw up but has no time all the others sail out into the meadow because each time she feels their dead weight her arms uncontrollably fling boxes one by one until eight are spread
hours later she recovers the shock initial and begins releasing traps to reset peanut butter surprise she washes her hands and arms for forty minutes straight before caring for the children, for the day the children know nothing, they’re so innocent, they don’t know anything it is so still, the wind drifting stench is the only movement the sky remains dark, blackest black gray-tipped lining cloud boxes, traps, shreds boxes, traps, shreds boxes traps, shreds she commits to the order front line in corrugated mine field snap, spring, dancers fall the flank moves forward
the landlord comes one day when he arrives she cries to him begging for abatement rent on the den he laughs her off his ears look like the king’s—pointed she steals serial number from his work truck to garnish his wages in court she will sue she says he backhands her just as her husband did so many times before she left him in June paid the rent three month’s advance to this wannabee slumlord single dwelling dictator this leech of land- lord-ing now the winter is approaching fast the babies notice and cry they notice they are aware time is running out
the owner of the store is surprised to see her he agrees to take her to town to file small claims court in a few weeks the landlord tells the judge that the reason the rats came was because of her housekeeping
“No. They were already here.” she says showing pictures of rats in traps she drew to scale the babies crawl around the courtroom the people stare and shake their heads they judge, they convict, they send her to jail in their minds “You Honor, it’s the truth” she says and he allows her to reclaim one hundred dollars suggesting she “look better next time you rent” her shoulders rise and tighten, lips part salted words dissolve on her tongue the babies scamper around till they locate her legs and climb up to be held tight.
a singer she knows tells her about a basement apartment, fixer-up rental they collapse into it smells sweet they eat and sleep night passing something scratches and runs in the false ceiling she sees black eyes in her mind she hits the white, dusty panels and a possum falls almost into her arms she screams, then laughs hysterically
they get a cat, a real mouser the feline patrols every night protecting the babies they sleep on a mattress no longer in a crib there are no shadows from slats on their faces babies turn into tots and play she writes songs gathering random chords prays to be left alone and prays not to be lonesome she falls to sleep writing and smiling at her children
she dreams she is in the tunnels of the rulers former terrorists who was the tenant? this question in dreamscape
her body becomes ridden with pain sickness so strong fever shoots so high nothing can bring it down
five days have passed amnesia, the sickness reels, she tries to cry but her lips won’t work she lies in her own vomit her hand reaches out with effort to the silhouette of the younger child she contacts dry parched skin like old paper paper-thin leather, fragile gray her skin is also gray she can see it the older child across her feet both children out cold dying or already gone she cannot move darkness, quiet silence, death is coming she smells it and turns away to turn, to f a l l to fall to the floor she crawls like the babies to the wall she cannot reach the phone she pushes open the door and falls
out into the cold the fierce cold of this winter her fever melts the snow next to her gray, gray skin schoolchildren stumble across her body and run for help down the dirt road they scurry their mother lifts her into their wagon station wagon they lay her babies beside her in the back Is this a hearse? the clinic doctor will not allow them within doors “No way they are gray, look at them.” He covers his mouth and face with enormous hands the strangers drive a hour to a Public Health Service Hospital and leave the three behind as they hurry home for supper
the tiniest on saline intravenous once he can speak the biggest child tells the story of the last five days he fed the baby while his mother lay dying “I thought she would died” he says explaining that after the third day he couldn’t feed the baby and crawled in with her he saw the baby crawl in the fourth day “I think it was yesterday, dunno” in another room she is told “They will make it, you didn’t lose your children.” “Can you hear us? ”
the tunnels close in around her the glass beads black, those eyes like size ten seed beads glassy, shiny they watch her, they rule
I
have witnessed all of this from far above this plague-ridden room floating around I feel free enough to
dance
I
look back at she
once I suppose was me too difficult I decide and watch a little longer I slip in above the babies I know they need her to come back delirious she yells “What’s the cover routine? ” those hands slip a needle to vein she jerks I jerk with her and reclaim the body
while the mind encounters steely eyes
dancers
plague dreams, reality leaping, flying, scampering gnawing innocents good healthy bodies tearing away the escape of a lifetime those tunnels full to brim rodents racing through time through this year the fever
falls
chills rise my skin bead goose bumps, my mind is clearing “Are the dancers gone? Are the babies okeh? ” Hands and faces embody nurses, doctors
“Have you had any recent contact with any small animals? ” they ask
recall dancers on toe chaotic climax frenzy they dance the dance they dance
Copyright 1992 Allison Hedge Coke 1997 Coffee House Press in Dog Road Woman. 1st Reprint in 'Visit TeePee Town.'
Allison Hedge Coke
| Submitted Date |
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Wednesday, August 06, 2008 |
| Submitted Date |
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Friday, January 23, 2009 |
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