Them Poem by Tatianna Rogers

I ask them, "who am I? "
They say "You are funny, you are kind, you are wise"
But I know that because
That is my mask, my costume…
My disguise

I ask them "can you see me? "
They say you are right there
But I know they can't see the real me
No matter how hard they stare

I asked them "Did you get a glimpse of hurt I tried to hide? "
They asked me "when did you show us? "
I said in the words "I'm fine"

I asked, "did you try to save me When I almost cracked from all the pressure? "
They asked "from what"
i said, Of trying to be people pleaser
Holding my tongue as if it was glass

I asked them "did you laugh? "
They said "When"
I said when my pain became a joke
Pretending words couldn't hurt me
Until words broke every bone in my body

Sarcasm was my impenetrable barrier
Keeping everyone out

Now My mind has become a prison
And my feelings are the prisoners
Bound by unbreakable chains
Held down by parishioners
Who only praise my demons' names

So when I ask "who am I? "
And they still say
I am funny, I am kind, I am wise
I look in the mirror
Trying to find who they see
But all I can find
Are lies

I'm only who they claim me to be
The real me
I still can't find