Lonnie Hicks (www.lonniehicks.com / Chicago Ill)
Then and Now
All Time
cavorted in our jangled past
inside our trembling reachings
through make-ups and break ups
love gained and lost
regained and lost
heartbreakingly again
and yet
even as that aching
recedes in my side view mirror
you somehow still sit my passenger seat
that place is reserved for you
as I drive my interior roads
you often unexpectedly appear
roadside hitchhiker seeking entry
beckoning to my heart
love's return
as I open the passenger side door.
This is my nurturing illusion
one perhaps I see too often
to be real
but it's comforting
in my imaginings
even as I see your face
recede as I pass
I love the illusion of it.
More so in the deep of night
When I am laid resting
wanting the feel of you beside me
but not able to look
for fear
you'll evaporate
and I will again
be crushed in the aching dark.
So I too
conjure you
in my future tense
where you'll return
in person
behind you
the trailing wake of our lovings
caressing for me then
in its sweetest aspects;
where I will feel your mouth upon mine
where we are unseen
sweep away
inside our abiding bliss;
where memories ours
are then
and now
stronger
than mere reality.
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