There's No Fight Left Poem by Leria Hawkins

Date: February 1,2012

He is a decade long struggle with weakness
A chink in the armor, a stain on my soul
He carved out a hollow, in places sworn to secrecy
And filled it with aching desires

He came whispering into dreams, unexpected, unexplained
Invading…where he ought not to be
He barged in, cold steel polished…plans perfected
Chip, chip, chipping away, at the naked innocence of my regard

He is my disease, a cruel cold sickness…a private shame
The incurable scourge, aimed like a heat seeking missile
He is a poisonous arrow, launched and bearing down
Piercing my heart, when no one’s around

He slathers on honey, sweeter than sunshine
To color the taste, disguising the waste, of the drug that he’s pushing
He’s a shot of confusion, a predatory illusion
Leading me astray, till all is lost and I can’t find my way

Like a rusty old needle, or dirty crack pipe
He’s a demented addiction unhinging my life
A knife to my flesh, a blade to my wrist
A candy coated affliction that I’ve yet to resist

He whispers of promises that he’ll never keep
Mixed with slurs of perversion, the scorn cutting deep
He’s so damned clever, how he plays it both ways
Assaulting my nights, tormenting my days

He slips in the folds when he’s ready to eat
Breathing like spiders spinning webs of deceit
I lay in the arms of his cool calculations
Hungry to feed my own deprivation

I drank from the river, spiked with disgrace
Languished in fire of hell’s hiding place
Gave my faith to a man with a passionless heart
Denied his true nature…to keep from falling apart

Now I whisper at night, to cast out the ghosts
Of too many memories, and too much hurt
I keep begging myself to look toward the light
Cause the darkness inside him, is not worth the fight

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Copyright © 2012 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved