Things More Certain Than Death Poem by Paul Hartal

"Have a seat", said the Turtle.
The Porcupine adjusted his quills and parked himself.

"You know", said the Turtle, there are things more certain
than death."

The Porcupine smiled. "Like taxes? "

The Turtle shook her head. "No, more certain than taxes."

"Really? "

"Yes. Look, after all—as Marcel Duchamp pointed out—
death always happens to others. And if we talk even
more seriously, we have to admit that death
is both an abstraction and a mystery.
Moreover, it appears to be a transition, a transformation
to another state of existence. Life is eternal."

"I see", said the Porcupine. ‘So what is more sure than death? "

"Well", said the Turtle, "we agree that we are not sure
what death is. On the other hand, we can be quite sure
that you are not a crocodile."

"True", allowed the Porcupine. "I am not. Neither am I
a rhinoceros, nor a coconut tree, nor an infinity of other
things."

"Right", said the Turtle. "And then I also humbly suggest
to consider the magnificent certainties of the calendar,
or the multiplication table. Tuesday is always preceded by
Monday, and three times five is always fifteen, respectively."