This Is A Poem I Wrote About My First Boyfriend Poem by Lynette Bednall

WITHOUT YOU

Many years ago when I first set eyes on you
a hockey stick you brandished with eyes so icy blue
You stirred up all my feelings which I'd never had before
Sent my heart a beating I fell for you for sure

We quickly started dating, football was our love
We played for separate teams and sport was our new hub
I turned up at your mum's with my boots strung round my neck
Your mum made a comment and thought what the heck!

My feelings they just grew and frightened me a lot
So I chose to say goodbye to escape the fear I got
We both worked for Courtaulds for quite a few years
You in engineering and me in Admin careers
We went our separate ways, I know I broke your heart
and what lay ahead of me kept us apart

We married different people, brought kids into this world
What happened next will slowly all be revealed
We both divorced our partners, and chose a different path
our paths crossed once more and we started to laugh
For two years we were courting our love was very strong
But fears just invaded me and I thought something was wrong
I knew that I loved you but anxiety took its toll
One day I got the blues and thought I'd gone to hell

You went through a divorce from a woman not so nice
It really was the last straw that finally cracked the ice
We decided to part and start another life, the pain was so tremendous
it cut me like a knife.

I spent so many years alone and used to weep and cry
wondering so many times and telling myself why
I chose to move away and start another life
but this was just the start to many years of strife
I had a few relationships, fell in and out of love
got very hurt again and vowed never again to the above

I chose to close my heart off and protect it with a wall
never would I love again the way I had before
I allowed myself to feel safe in the company of a guy
lived with him for 9 years but never be his bride
I had two more children when I never thought I would
so finally gave in and married him simply because

The passion I experienced all those years ago
was buried deep within me, I never let it go
I learned to live without it and got on with my life
moved away abroad and experienced the delights

I used to have these dreams which were about you
and still searched my mind as to why it went kerchoo
I kept your golden ring and never took it off
I even looked on facebook but could not find your spot

Then finally one day, you simply looked me up
you found me once more but it wasan't on facebook
so shocked and so stunned was I to receive
this message you had sent me so eager to read
my heart began to pound and I could not believe
I promptly replied and felt so relieved
We told our life stories from nearly 30 years
all our achievements and were all ears

We talked about our past and put it all to rest
Managed to justify the reason for our quest
Now were so much wiser and stronger in our minds
We both have discovered our feelings still alive
But now they are stronger and able to resist
the traumas that we suffered when we were simply kids

Our love has been re-kindled, it never really left
we kept it in our hearts locked up in our chests
We have finally unlocked it, it just came flowing out
Like a river of emotion with no more doubt
What will behold us in the coming years
is for us to find out now we have conquered all our fears

It feels so good to love again, it makes me feel alive
You make me feel so worthy this fella of mine
Your such a lovely person, so beautiful within
I love to simply kiss you with tenderness and grin
Our passion has flowed out and we have found our love
I am determined to keep it forever and above

I know that I love you so very dearly now
and want to grow old with you but don't quite know just how
You simply are my soulmate I hope that I am yours
and we can live our life out for ever and amore