Ticket Tyranny Poem by Alan Bruce Thompson

It's not just the show, we've made the evening the event,
We'll get them to arrive two hours early to stand in our tent.

We'll make them pay through the nose for the show,
So even for real rubbish, they'll fork out the dough.

Even for first class there'll be no reserved seat,
We'll tantalize them, we'll keep them in heat!

We'll force them to snack on fat and salt,
To drink expensive cheap champagne from our vault.

They'll clamour to come, to stand by the famous,
We've hired penniless actors who're actually quite nameless.

Now we double the admission and print designer labels,
The crowds flock in, they swallow our fables.