Vickey Alexander

Rookie (June 1965 / California)

To Whom It May Concern

In my after-struggle to understand myself
and figure life all out,
I've come to know that this life is mine, by design

I forgive you... for you too are stuck in your own world
with your own reason for being here, for being you.

I see the cords that still bind us flailing in the winds.
They are thin, loose and worn.
Noncommittal, with occasional tuggings from your side.

I say I love you, but out of duty
not from my heart
I lost that a long time ago as your words or actions
slowly stripped and weakened our bonds

I love, but it is a memory,
a reel I know is there
but a movie I never care to see anymore

I sit here, listening to this song
I am transported back in time
to where I let it all go and became myself
It moves me to write these purging thoughts

I forgive you,
but mostly I forget you.
I am not trying to hurt your feelings,
the distance is just too great
and I do not care enough to try
even though you do

A child is meant for loving,
nurturing and treasuring
Be careful what you push away,
it (I) may never come back

I am absolved
I forgive myself
for not wanting you
for not needing you
in my life
I regret nothing, not me, not you,
not then, not now

Love is the answer, and I give it to myself

Submitted: Sunday, July 20, 2014
Edited: Sunday, July 20, 2014

Topic of this poem: relationships

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

Written 07/20/2014

When I listen to the song Indifference by Pearl Jam, I am transported to the late 1990's, my changing world, my spiritual awakening, my releasing of some things that did not serve me. Words just want to come out of me. Maybe it is still purging itself and I think all is okay, because I feel okay. Funny how music can define a time period and take you there to release more.

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