Torn Poem by Bleeding Heart

Torn
There are two sides of me.
The person that I am,
And the person that I want to be.
They are slowly ripping me apart.

The person that I am,
Is obedient and docile most of the time,
And other peoples’ opinions shape mine.
And I cannot speak my words from my mouth.

In painful silencing of my heart,
I remain broken and bleeding.
My heart cracks more everyday,
Because part of me is weak.

The person I am was not created by me.
It was created by someone else.
And I am paying the price for that.
The true me is beginning to fade away.

As I am fading,
She is becoming proud of me.
But I feel unhappy and empty,
As it my heart is hallow.

This is one side of me.
The side of the person that I am.
The person someone else made me into.
The person I hate.

The person that I want to be,
Is brave and daring.
And no one would define my opinions.
And I would say what I feel and think.

My heart would never suffer agony in silence.
I would not be broken or bleeding.
My heart would crack less or not at all,
Because I would be strong.

The person that I want to be,
Would be herself and never defined by someone else.
I wouldn’t have to pay that terrible price.
The true me wouldn’t be fading away.

I wouldn’t be fading.
But She might not start beginning to be proud of me.
But I would be happy and full,
As if my heart was bursting.

However, now I am feeling torn.
Between the person that I am,
And the person that I want to be.
I am being torn apart.

If I remain the person that I am,
I am afraid I will be unhappy.
And I would be who She wants me to be.
I would be the person She might be proud of.

But I would pay the terrible price of my heart remaining in painful silence.
And I would remain broken and bleeding.
But most of all, the true me would slowly fade away
‘Till there was nothing left of me.

But if I become the person that I want to be,
I would be happy.
And I would be the true me.
And not the person She turned me into.

I would not be suffering in painful silence.
And I wouldn’t be broken or bleeding.
But most of all, I wouldn’t be fading away.
But She might not be proud of me.

So I am torn,
Between the two sides of me.
I am not sure of what side I will chose.
But I can’t remain indecisive.

I am unsure of what I will decide.
Because I can’t live to make someone proud.
I can’t live my life for someone else.
I can’t be the person someone wants me to be.

I should live to make myself happy.
And I should live for myself.
I should be the true me.
Even if someone else doesn’t like that.

But I still am unsure.
Unsure of what I should do.
And who I should be.
All I know is…

That I Am Torn.