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(1565 / Earth, USA, California, Los Angeles, Van Nuys, Balboa blvd)

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Turtleman

A turtle rarely peeks out of his shell
Don't want my neurosis I want to be well
It's dawning on me as i drive in the rain
I'm all alone once again

I'm a turtle who rarely looks out of his shell
I don't want to go crazy i want to get well
I don't want to find myself is a bore
I don't want to be alone again anymore

In the dark of the night when I'm out of your sight
And you're dreaming of faceless young men
Keep my name in your head
Think of words that I've said
And our hearts can be bound once again

A turtle who creates mellifluous tone
should not sit in silence should not be alone
I am wretched with disdain
I am all alone again
I cannot escape this turtleman in pain

Submitted: Tuesday, May 30, 2006


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  • Jay Andrew Anderson-Taylor (2/12/2008 7:14:00 AM)

    Nice poem, but here are some suggested changes you could make to improve on it? JAAT

    A turtle rarely peeks (it's head out of it's) shell
    my neurosis (is coming back again) I want to be well
    It's dawning on me as (I) drive in this (pouring) rain
    I'm all alone once again...

    I'm (much like that) turtle who rarely looks out of his shell
    I don't want to go crazy I want to get well
    I don't want to find myself (to be) a bore
    I don't want to be alone (anymore)

    In the dark of the night when I'm out of your sight
    And you're dreaming of faceless young men (in your sleep at night)
    Keep my name in your head
    Think of words that I've said
    And our hearts can be (as one) once again

    A turtle (am I who) creates mellifluous tone (in the night)
    Should not sit in silence (and) should not be alone
    (I'm a) wretch with (much) disdain
    (Here I sat) all alone once again
    (trapped in the persona of being just like a turtle man.)

    PS…Turtleman is not a word, so it should have bee hyphenated... You Think

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