Treasure Island

alexandre arnau

(9.26.72 -? / new york city)

un becoming (the sum of my parts)


oftentimes
i find my voice
not to my liking
the sound of it
reminds me of
prison windows
the east river in january
or empty lots
gardened by slumlords

somedays
the mirror tells me
to look away
that face
forever soured
by 33 years
of 33 years
regardless
of the joys
carefully tended to
and nurtured
in my soul's nursery

my body
has plotted
with my mind
to overthrow
my spirit

over the years
as a child
ripe with fantasies
i imagined
my skin peeling back
and giving way
like a chrysalis
to reveal
the diamond armor
i wore in my dreams
and my face
my real face
would finally
agree with me
and smile

aging
brought me
the despairing knowledge
of me:
i would do
no great things
i would not
be heard
and all i would amount to
would be what
was left to put
in the ground

the many pieces of me
i have catalogued
over the slow and
plodding
parade of years
display a checklist
of items
that amount to
a lesser value
than what they equal

it is those
moments when
i become suddenly
aware of one
particular part
of my body-
the tingle of
a hair on
my arm
a slight swelling
in my aikido thumb
the subliminal tightness
of my facial scar-
that cause a smile
to dawn upon
my lips

seperate entities
of sensation
reminding me

i am not what i see

i am more
than who i am

Submitted: Thursday, August 11, 2005

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Comments about this poem (un becoming (the sum of my parts) by alexandre arnau )

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  • J Premo (8/11/2005 11:36:00 PM)

    A wonderful piece. Reminds me a bit of Robert Creeley's work.
    And the last line, 'I am more than what I am' is brilliant. (Report) Reply

  • K Q (8/11/2005 1:59:00 AM)

    This is a beautiful poem, Alexandre. I love the imagery your draw the speaker with so passionately. Despite the speaker's attempt to indirectly address external beauty and express a degree of disapointment, the direction of the poem leads to a glwoing level of self awareness to internal beauty. Interesting! I love this part in particular:

    my body
    has plotted
    with my mind
    to overthrow
    my spirit

    and how it is combatted when:

    the many pieces of me
    i have catalogued
    over the slow and
    plodding
    parade of years
    display a checklist
    of items
    that amount to
    a lesser value
    than what they equal

    I like your style. (Report) Reply

Read all 2 comments »

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