Unlike My Wildest Dream Poem by Patricia Clarke

Once
Who I am today, I wished to be.
To lift myself, of this I would day dream.
Free.
Free from hunger
Stress
All Uncertainties.
Full of choices,
A home maker-my choice to be.

Now I've reached.
I am the envy of the former me
But I cannot breathe.
My world has expanded
But still it chokes me.
Old friends I've left
New ones I fear out-measure me.
My home is heavenly,
But do I deserve its upkeep?

I am bill free.
Yet awake my worries keep me,
The reason for which eludes me.
I'm confused.
What I've always wanted now cripples me.
The will to enjoy evades me
The thought of going back, I dare not conceive.
This is unlike my wildest dream.
I have become, yet I cannot be.