Until Then Poem by Audrey O'shea

Sometimes I feel like I'm a tight coil,
my springs keep squeaking telling me to unfoil,
to destroy the life I've made, and just let it spoil,
because everywhere I turn there's this ugly turmoil.
I don't even know where to begin, or even to merely explain,
how unkind he has been, in our past there was so much pain.
There's so many who don't know, so I hold those black
nightmares to me very tight, so I can bring them back,
when its me he tries to fight.
He often apoligizes for what he has done, but who stays
with someone who made more faults then one? I do, though
sometimes I don't know why, I feel i'm in love with you, but why
does that love seem to be the source of my cries.
I don't know how to begin, or merely how to explain, how sometimes I just want it to end, but even thinking that makes my
heart beat with strain. I'm so attached, but I find myself wondering what would happen if I let go, and how he'd react, if I let him know.
I don't think love is supposed to feel that way,
but I have no answers, until then I stay.......