Unwell Poem by Nika McGuin

Nobody can ever hurt me
worse than I can
I've gained the twisted fortune
of knowing it well

No words said to me
were ever more terrible
than the ones I've said to myself
the internal bruises are recorded well

And no one can give me the silent treatment
any better than I've given it to myself
using isolation is my first instinct -
one that has never served me very well

Through it all, no one can smile brighter,
hope deeper, and laugh louder than I can
- even though no one is lonelier too -
pity would make me no less unwell