Unwilling Heart Poem by Maya Hanson

My heart swells with feelings
I don’t even know what they are
I can’t even guess what you’re doing
I think you’re someone I love

But since when can I trust
my untrustable heart
I thought I loved a million times before
and all it turned out to be was lust

I lust after your shadow
as you tiptoe away
Once I loved like my heart couldn’t break
in two
But now I lust, keeping my unlovable heart
inside a vase

We’re protected by flowers,
by flowers and words
The ones of yesterday…
When I met you and something happened
When love was nothing
to my untouchable heart

And I know if I can’t love you
I’m by myself tonight
Running from everything
I’ve ever known

So I try to force my unwilling heart
to do something safe instead
I try to push you away
But my unwilling heart
isn’t going anywhere but here