War Poem by Katie Doty

War



I plod down the hallway,
stroking the wall with my left hand.
The infallible bricks are my key to standing up straight.
No longer a deft and remiss child,
I walk as a woman in an open back gown.
I walk as a nine-year-old woman.
I feel a sort of temerity in my step,
and an indomitable way to go about these halls.
I wonder whether this ironic war is worth fighting in,
so truculent and tiring.
I walk as a nine-year-old soldier.
I am comprised of lost dreams and destitute of childish ways.
I pull with me a technological device,
made of plastic veins and pumping
virulent medications into my body.
I hope to accede this battle one day,
though it's so inopportune for a child.
I haven't reposed and rested my mind in hours.
I smell the musky scent of the fallen,
so pungent and broken,
as I walk amid the battlefield.
I brandish a smile,
to try to extirpate the sorrow.
It wasn't unfeigned or explicit,
but it was all I could do.
I walked as a fighting war-hero.

Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Topic(s) of this poem: war
COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Bri Edwards 12 May 2014

my 'favorite' line so far: I am comprised of lost dreams and destitute of childish ways. - - - - - - - - - - - your vocabulary certainly is NOT childish! you use many words for which i have to use the online dictionary; not that i'm complaining. maybe i'll learn a word or two. :) - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I hope to accede this battle one day, ............KATIE, looking at this line and the definition of accede and its forms, i get the sense that you are saying you hope to give into the battle some day. could that be what you mean? ? i don't think so. hmmm? ac·cede verb \ak-'sed, ik- : to agree to a request or a demand : to enter a high office or position ac·ced·edac·ced·ing Full Definition of ACCEDE intransitive verb 1 a: to become a party (as to an agreement) b: to express approval or give consent: give in to a request or demand 2 archaic: approach 3 : to enter upon an office or position ========================= It wasn't unfeigned or explicit, ..............I SENSE A DOUBLE NEGATIVE HERE. but i think it IS what you wanted to say; it just seems like an overly-tricky way to say that the smile, though brandished, was not genuinely felt by you. but if it helped you feel better, or just helped others feel better, it was worth the deception, i think. - - - - - - - - - - UNFEIGNED: un·feigned adjective \-'fand : not false or pretended Full Definition of UNFEIGNED : not feigned or hypocritical: genuine — un·feigned·ly adverb - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - FEIGNED: feigned adjective Definition of FEIGNED 1 : fictitious 2 : not genuine or real - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - =================== Katie, i hope this comment finds you feeling well. thanks for sharing well-wrought words about your activities (or another's activities) of several years ago? i'll send this poem to MyPoemList, if only to see how many of those words i recall, if i ever read the poem again from off MyPoemList! bri :)

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Gajanan Mishra 07 May 2014

very good, fighting war hero, I like it.

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Katie Doty

Katie Doty

Arizona, USA
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