What Good Am I Poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

Out of my mind!
So out of it...
I'm like an unfound diamond.
Rumored to be rare.
But a precious gem,
That is hard to find.
Hoping someone reveals,
A courage they dare!

Rough and tough.
And refusing a cut,
A smoothness would bring.
Gruff around the edges.
To those declaring...
They were fortunate to have seen!

Liars.
I am hardly that shallow.

Although my sparkle is disguised.
And I hide my glimmer,
From spying eyes.
I prefer to have my glitz appear,
Through squinting eyes.
To blaze without a show of gleam.
I wish not to have an 'ah'...
Accompanied by an 'ooo'.
I bore at the thought of being praised.
I choose to lay low...
From those fanatics who scream!

I am saving my lustre...
For one.
Not a cluster!

'Excuse me? '

You are excused!

Out of my mind.
And rubbing against my own groove.
I've allowed myself to do this...
To soothe my egotistical attitude.
And fighting off that glow,
On others I could bestow!

'Geeessshhh! Yuk! '

I know.
You feel depraved.
With the way things are,
As such.

I wish to bathe in self aggrandizement.
In an unreleased greatness no one sees.
To glorify in unpolished selfishness.
Yet fierce, untouched and lean.

So 'hot' am I...
And more flammable to ignite a riot.
As if desired like cheap gasoline.

KA-BOOM!
Oh...how I can sizzle!

'Oh, PLEASE! '

Not now.
I wish to keep this secret.
I wish to keep myself away.
To have them craving me and teased!
Your needs can be met.
But no begging on your knees!

'You can 'not' be for real? '

Sssshhh...
Don't tell anyone.
They might chisel away.
And then you will have none!

But you?
Don't give up on me!
Don't you quit.
You may be the one,
With patience enough to discover...
Underneath this fluff,
There is much for you to benefit!

As long as you put up with it!
Knowing I have bouts with a sanity unbelieved.
And I am in and out of a sickness I insist...
Affords me a bit of twistedness.
I like to display on surfaces...
Until someone like you finds me completely legit!

Sssshhh...
Play along with it!
And you alone will inherit...
A package that surprises,
Stocked with an endless pricelessness

'You are 'too' much.'

Don't worry about it.
This is not costing you a dime.
I am the one you should treasure.
I've confessed to you...
I am out of my mind!

'Something' I have must be of value?
What good am I,
If I have 'nothing' for you to use? '