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Izzy Ruffin

What Hurt's the Most

Is not being able to see him every second of every day,
not being able to know what he thinks,
or if he ever thinks about me.
not knowing if i'll ever see him again.
What hurts the most is not knowing what to do with myself,
not knowing how to deal with this.
Not being able to feel your touch,
or feel your arms around me.
What hurts the most is not knowing if you cried at first,
when we both said our last goodbyes,
not knowing if we’d see each other again.
Not knowing what you said to me last.
What hurts the most is not being able to remember,
the last hug we shared together,
the last words you whispered in my ear,
the last time you said “I love you.”
What hurts the most is not knowing what happened,
or how you ever even left my side,
not knowing how I survived, without you,
without you being involved in my life.
What hurts the most is not knowing how long
I have to hide my broken tears,
and shield it with a smile.
How long I have to hide what I feel, from the rest of the world.
What hurts the most is knowing that no one else feel’s this pain,
the hurt, the distrain, that a only a very few share.
Not knowing what they would do if they felt the same way,
but they wouldn’t know, there dad was always there.
What hurts the most is not knowing if I’ll ever find out,
everything I should’ve known,
and everything they’ve kept from me,
everything they hid behind all the smiles.
What hurts the most is not knowing if I’ll be forgiven,
or if I’ll forgive you, for what tore us apart.
Not knowing what I would say,
if I ever saw you again someday.

What hurts the most is not knowing
if you even missed me through the years at all

Submitted: Friday, January 16, 2009

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