What Is The You I Love Poem by Philippa Lane

What is the you I love?
Stag-proud, clashing antlers
with the world,
Then watch again
& see you tossed and hurled
Like a rag doll by an angry child.

What is the you I love?
Limpet-stubborn, clinging
To the proud womb of your invention,
Pregnant with hope,
(Time hanging on your shoulders
Like a wet cloak) ,
The foetus aborted in the ninth month.

I die a little for my heart is yours.

What is the you I love?
Fiancé-past, your sobs
Echoing in my mind even now.
Helplessly I watch you touch
Your spoilt rose, Its dewdrop
now your tear.

I smell its tainted scent
And so do you; thorn-scratched,
You chase your thoughts
Down a million corridors of doubt.

I am sad for I do not dream.

What is the you I love?
Husband-close, stirring to meet
Me in the night; our sticky love-flesh
Quick to share, the twisting,
twining of our bodies
Interlocked like vines,
Love juices exchanged
In strong embrace.

I am glad for me are one.

What is the you I love?
Dove-gentle, rocking tiny bundle
Of infant flesh to sleep.
I watch and see you smile
With tender eyes at her -
Egg-shell china
In your work-toiled hands,
Now softer than a spaniel's mouth
To hold your Billy-lid.

I weep,
still weak,
& delight because she is ours.

What is the you I love?
What is you?
Man,
crusader,
father,
lover,
husband,
friend...

Not understanding why I love,
I do, and you are mine.