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Leah Bueing

Where Did We Go Wrong?

If I approached you
And directed my words in your direction,
Would you respond like you cared,
And take interest in my thoughts
Or would you sit there untouched,
Pretending to listen.

What would happen if I hugged you today,
Would you embrace me as a mother should,
Or would you greet me
With the back of your hand,
Embarrassed in my foolish attempts for love.

What if I disappeared into the night,
Would you would search for me
As a mother would,
Until exhaustion forced you to succumb to defeat,
Or would you relish in triumph
Welcoming an effortless victory.

What if you read this and cried,
Thought that I felt you had failed,
When it was my own pitiful self
My own worthless excuse for a daughter,
That has kept us apart.

If I could only learn to love
What always loved me unconditionally,
Then perhaps, perhaps we could exist together,
And talk and hug and share the way
Mothers and daughters ought to.

If I told you I loved you
Would you cry?
So overwhelmed by happiness
That the tears could not contain themselves,
Or would you stare blankly back,
Afraid to answer
Because of the torture I have put you through.
Because it just might be a dream.

Submitted: Tuesday, January 24, 2006
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