Why? Poem by angel lockheart

I can’t believe this is happening,
To a man such as yourself,
You used to be so strong and fun,
You used to care so much it hurt.

You used to buy me the zebra gum,
You would always get us peanut butter cookies,
You would give mom sweet letters,
You’d carry me around,
Rapped in your arms,
Snuggled to your chest,
Right before your heart,
Your look so loving,
I knew there was none like you.

You’d build a block castle with me,
You’d teach me how to play the piano,
Telling me the names of the keys,
Playing the song first,
Because you knew that made it so much easier,
You used to sing me songs in Dutch,
You used to teach me how to read,
You used to dance with me standing on your feet,
You used to say,
You love me.

All the times we used to have,
I wish they could come back again,
Because now you make us cry so much,
Mom, sis, and me,
All throughout the night,
Our pillows more wet than dry,
Wondering why you do this,
Why you put us through so much pain,
Talking nonsense,
Around and around in circles,
Barely able to walk strait,
Tripping over your own feet,
Making us feel so horrible,
Saying it’s our entire fault,
Demanding things left and right,
Yelling when you don’t get your way,
Hitting me when you get mad.

It’s getting so tiring
Trying to convince you
You’re doing this to yourself,
But still we don’t give up,
Wrapping our arms around you,
When you try to jump out of the car,
Screaming with tear drenched faces,
The sobs wracking our bodies so harshly,
I feel they might just break,
And going fifty miles an hour,
You try to grab the wheel,
Trying to make us Crash,
You open the door
And try to unbuckle your seat belt,
With a mad gleam in your eyes,
And we’re so scared,
Because you’re so angry,
We aren’t sure what you’ll do,
So we pull up to a jail,
And sis and I go in,
Black mascara streaking our faces,
Smugged so much,
And our faces so white,
Pale as ghosts,
Our eyes so lifeless,
That we look like we died
And the horrified look if the lady at the counter,
The kindness of the police man,
As we retell our story,
Lets us come back to reality with a bang,
And lets us know that this is real.

And he calls in backup,
But the roads are slippery,
With ice as sleek as glass,
And we sit there in the midst of the snow storm,
Looking out the tinted black windows at the car,
Pacing,
With a Kleenex box half gone,
For an hour,
And then they take mom and you,
To a police car,
And drive you to the hospital,
Where you put up your sure proof mask,
And the police puzzle,
At the sane man standing before them,
Thinking we’re exaggerating,
That what we’ve said couldn’t have been,
And I wonder how they can think this,
If they really look at us,
Can’t they tell?
We’re braking inside,
And soon we’ll snap,
Our family will be broken,
Because even after this,
He’ll just stay the same.

Now a couple months later,
He’s still the same,
Not knowing what’s going on around him,
Making us drained of tears,
Acting Drunk,
Because even though he won’t admit it,
He is,
And no matter how many times
We throw out the alcohol,
It always gets back,
And he still drinks it,
Acting more and more
Like the people he Helps every day,
And not even realizing it,
And when I wake him up,
He
Doesn’t
Even
Know
Who I
Am!