Will They Ever Forgive Me Poem by Dianna Nally

It was so many years ago
That I suffered from an illness.
But at the time that I was ill, I hurt my children
And now I wonder if they will ever find forgiveness.

I don't remember anything that happened
All I know is what I was told.
I love my children with all my heart
But at the time my pain was uncontrolled.

I'm not totally clear about what I did
But whatever it was, it wasn't really me.
And I understand when they were just kids
That was hard for them to see.

But now they are grown into true adults
Can't they try to understand what was wrong?
I'm a better person, I've changed so much
What good comes from holding a grudge for so long?

After all I seem to be fine when they need a sitter
They bring their kids over for me to take care of.
Don't get me wrong, I do it willingly
They are my grand children, and I care for them with love.

Maybe it's just me thinking they hold
the past against me. Maybe It's guilt.
I'd do anything to make my kids understand me
Maybe it's my family being rebuilt.

Or maybe it isn't my kids at all
That think I am so bad
Maybe it's the guilt in me
That makes me feel so sad.

Dianna Nally
2005 8/11