It would be nice if I could
finally do it.
Either snap off the shorter end,
jump in front of a train
(would there be remains?
Nothing beautiful in a gunshot,
pills hurt I’ve heard.)
Shorter end or longer and I
keep going somehow,
as I do now.
Shorter end means so much I don’t know
or absolutely nothing.
“Does it make you sad, believing in no God?
How does your life have meaning? ”
She was in shock, as her little brain
strained without success.
I cited reasons.
I don’t know, is what I should have said. (Is it your business?)
How can anything be enough, how is life not enough?
All my meaning falls into love and people, which I also fear.
Where I’m lost I find death as
interesting, maybe. Not so bad.
As meaningless and full and empty as everything else.
“We all die someday, ”
she attempted to drill it into my head,
the idea of nothingness.
I was too young, tears streamed.
I’d already found there was no reply
from man in the sky.
Why was it always he?
I became angry.
A nonbelieving child,
crying at night for sleep.
“How can they sleep? ” I asked myself.
I asked them, as they snored so carelessly.
So now I wonder, wishbone,
which way will you go?
Either way it’s both,
and I don’t quite care,
Bright love fades
into quiet understanding,
together yet still always alone… I feel so alone…
Everything once so bright fades away blindingly,
or lingers, unwilling to go. Like me?
Either way I don’t quite care, I tell myself.
I will love him,
I shrug as it fades, a quiet surrender called maturing.
I will fail, I will curse the god who does not exist,
I will age for however long.
Maybe it will be “worth it” maybe not.
Either way, I won’t remember enough to know.
I’ll be too old to care,
flying away mindlessly in a rocking chair…
brightly fading away.
Camille Lansing's Other Poems
Read this poem in other languages
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
Comments about this poem (Wishbone by Camille Lansing )
The Road Not Taken
If You Forget Me
Still I Rise
Edgar Allan Poe
I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings
Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening
William Ernest Henley
- Love is God, dr.k.g.balakrishnan kandangath
- Precious gold, Mark Heathcote
- God is Love- 2, dr.k.g.balakrishnan kandangath
- Power Of The Mighty God, Lilly Emery
- I am a Slave, Madrason writer
- Only one poet knows me., Jena Crowe
- Release Me To Those Fresh Breezes, Lawrence S. Pertillar
- I SPEAK NOT, I TRACE NOT, I BREATHE NOT .., MOHAMMAD SKATI
- sunglasses and cheap gum, Jena Crowe
- Timeless Poems, Tirupathi Chandrupatla