Within My Own Prison (2) Poem by F.L. Racca Sr.

Here I linger;
For here is where I’ve been cast into a prison
Of my own being…
For it is here I have been left
to walk the hallway of memories
from this loneliness deep inside my pain…
As I look into this prison wall
created from not knowing or not wanting,
it is certainly unclear who I have become
within each moment of time
as it seems to just stand still around me…
It is as if someone from outside
has poisoned my soul with fear,
from being unloved and forgotten
through the essence of every precious moment …
Thus leaving this brutal wall
that I am so unknowingly imprisoned within…
As I search for some unconscious reason for my being here,
my soul reaches to uncloak
this deep and dark secret that withholds me here…
Just moments from touching the pain that surrounds me,
I sense a deceiving hand on the wall once removed before…
I touch the wall as she once did;
the cold, sorrow, and hurt remain
as though she knew my existence was there,
and there she knew I would stay
as if she had locked me in with that touch…
I back away in weeping fear of what has been
and that which still remains,
It is this unknowing that brutally,
keeps me chained within my own dark prison…
But yet I still reach to another place deep inside,
hoping there is that one place undaunted by the pain,
the hurt, and the loneliness which I have lived…
As I turn to this place of freedom,
I reach for the wall as before,
except I sense this is where someone has touched the bitter pain
that these walls encompass and still holds their hand in place…
Could this be my reality to release the ghost that my conscious has become…
As I touch the hurt within this wall,
I feel the warmth of a new soul and the kindness of a heart
so pure that its beat flows through
this wall of pain my life has created…
I ask in some sort of delusional excitement
could this be the moment of release
from this darkness, this pain, and this loneliness
that has tortured my soul through my existence of who I have become…
As I further extend through the pain of my soul,
I reach and grasp this hand that still remains…
At that very point I am asked are you ready…
I reply yes, my Lord,
I am ready take me home…