Without A Trace Poem by Elliott Gilbert

I have said goodbye to my best friend.
The only real person I had to talk to
The only real person who understood me.

But now I am stuck here,
Alone without that real companionship
Sure I have others to talk to but none like him.

With him it was not a complaining rant,
With him it was not all in vain
And with him I could pull through it all.

And at the point where I think I need him most
He is not here to pull me up from despair
He is not here to take my mind off everything.

I am overwhelmed I do not know how to react
I have lost sense of importance of what comes first
With a team calling for commitment and a family calling for help.

I do not know what to do
One is the family I wish I had while the other is my family
A family screwed sideways and back again.

I do not want people to feel sorry for me
Or feel the need to baby me
Because that is not what I am looking for

I need the people who just make me happy
Without bringing up what could be awkward
And without making me feel as vulnerable as I am.

I thought I had everything planned
However just like any plan I make it falls to pieces
Now I have to put it all back together alone

Now panic mode has hit me
With a week left in my high school career
I have the worst grades ever and no drive.

Yes its true I have other best friends
But not the type that I need
I need someone to show me everything is ok.

Not just say it because words are cheep
But rather show how things work themselves out
Even if what was originally planned falls apart.

Pity is not what I need so do not give it
Sympathy is not what I need either
What I need is a friend to patch up what was lost

I am tired of feeling overwhelmed
I am tired of feeling alone in my own house
I am tired of being treated as if I have done something wrong

I am just tired of it all
From being the best friend
Who always gives but never receives.

But being selfish does not help the situation any more
But I hope the experience is amazing
I hope that you turn yourself around there

I will miss you man
And “I’ll be with you,
Till we meet again”