You Can't Make This Up Poem by Donal Mahoney

Police arrested a man
on suspicion of child abuse
after doctors found

a small octopus in the throat
of his girlfriend's two-year-old son.
The girlfriend came home and found

her boyfriend giving CPR
to the toddler who was
rushed to the hospital.

Doctors removed the octopus
but also found injuries on
the boy's face as well.

The boyfriend's explanation
didn't jell with the injuries.
He was booked and jailed.

At last report the child's in
serious condition and may
have brain damage.

The octopus died but
would have died anyway.
Meant to be sushi for dinner.