You Make Me Weak Poem by Turuz Hautapu

How is it after just one word from you, i become mute
After one phone call, i become someone i'm not
After one little text, i can be the happiest or most depressed person alive
After one fluke moment, i meet you
After many disappointed nights and days, i leave you

No one really knows how much I love you, not even you,
But you are everything to me
It's like I'm weak,
I beg, plead and yell at my heart to stop loving you
I tell my eyes not to cry
I pray for my thoughts to clear
But even my mind is sometimes convinced that I shouldn't have left you
I miss you so much but I can't and won't let you know because I don't want to go back to that same routine
I know we both deserve a better lifestyle than the mediocre one we were heading into
I just don't know how to get the words out now, coz I can't even trust myself to do what I probably should.