I search your face,
for the slightest sign,
the slightest whisper.
I drink in every word you speak
and stare into your beautiful eyes.
Each moment is breath-taking.
Each moment is heart-breaking.
And I wonder,
whatever happened?
What happened to that love we once shared?
Has it left you?
Or is it still there,
softly singing in your heart?
You left.
I cried.
We both moved on.
I found someone new,
though I always wonder the true effect,
upon that sweet heart beating in your chest,
of your old love and good friend finding each other.
Did you hurt?
Did you wish it was you holding me in your arms again?
Or were you unaffected and content with your free life?
Though you were happy for us,
I wonder if, perhaps, there was some pain,
some jealousy stirring inside.
Almost a year has gone by,
since you left me sitting alone in that place.
Though you were also torn apart,
you thought it was the best action for us both.
And, with some time,
I fell for another and spent good times with him,
although I was unable to ever truly love him,
at least, not the same as I do you.
Now we are no longer together and though you only just discovered,
I am unable to see how you feel,
for so much distance and time has passed between us.
It all confuses me now,
and I cannot see into your heart as I once could.
Do you want me back?
Are you secretly celebrating the break-up, though still hoping we are alright?
In my heart I am wishing you do... I am wishing you are.
In my heart, I silently plead to you,
for I am much too afraid to express it in spoken words:
'Please come back to me, my love.
Hold me once more in your arms and kiss me with your sweet lips.
You are my world, my everything.
Do you still share those feelings you once had?
Or have you moved on and wish to be nothing more than friends?
I want you to know the truth dwelling deep within my broken heart-
I miss you...
I love you...'
I still treasure each moment we have with one another,
no matter the mixed feelings either may have.
Us, being nothing more than good friends,
only fate can say what the future holds for us.
Together? But still far from each other?
Completely apart? Yet close in our hearts?
I cannot say, for my heart does not know.
Even so, this much I do know and can also feel-
That I shall always hold a place within your heart.
I promise you, you will always have a most special place in mine.
No force in this universe could tear my love for you fully away.
Whether or not we are together romantically,
I hope we shall always be friends, until the end of all time.
We are both without someone to fully love,
without someone to express our true feelings to.
Though we can steal special looks at each other,
though we can show our feelings in small, hidden gestures and actions,
we may never be able to outright speak those feelings to anyone.
Perhaps, we cannot even admit them to ourselves.
But, both our hearts will, in time, tell us the truth we seek.
Then, the only question left is- Will we both be able to accept those truths?
Will I be capable of accepting your truth if it is not what I dream of?
Will you be able to accept that truth, if it is so, when it will hurt me?
Doubtless, I hold these feelings in my heart,
and you hold your feelings in yours.
Someday I hope for them to co-inside.
You are as sweet as iced tea,
and as kind as a kitten.
You are as intelligent as the most re-known scholar,
and as beautiful as nature ever could be.
Though we don't talk as often as I'd like,
I spend as much time as possible with you, as my friend.
I talk with you, I laugh with you and take joy in your smiles.
Your voice gives me chills and your touch makes me shake.
And, slowly, each and every day,
I gather every bit of courage I am able to sustain,
to hopefully use one day to reveal my feelings to you.
And, if your heart agrees,
we may be together again to share in the joy we once had.
I will respect your decision no matter the answer,
no matter the pain I may feel.
Rejoin me or be only ever my friend, or even only a mark on my heart,
it is your choice and no one can make it for you.
Take time if you wish, to search your heart for your decision.
If you are confused of those feelings,
or if you are unsure of the right path to tread-
Always remember to follow your heart and believe.
Whatever love you may ever feel in the future,
whether towards me or another,
let it blossom and grow,
pluck the weeds and water the ground.
Always allow yourself to feel that love without any reserve.
05-29-11
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem