Your Acceptance Of Me Doesn'T Matter Poem by Emma Mulwa

Approval is all I ask,
Its all I long for,
Its all I need to feel complete.

Can I feel so empty yet I'm filled with the gift of life.
Can one feel so unworthy as worthiness seems so far fetched.

I look at you in sadness for the words that come from thee feel like a spear through my chest.

I find myself doing above and beyond to prove to you that I'm not
worthless
irresponsible
unreliable
nor am I selfish

your oppinion of me mattered so much nothing anyone said meant anything.

many bragged how amazing I was, but the negative words you threw at me everytime we met echoed in my mind.

can words be so painful
so harsh
they shattered my heart into little pieces for the rose that blossomed was stripped into pettles blown in all directions.

you pick up the pieces
but every encounter we had the little collection of confidence in thy self disappeared within a blink of an eye.

It is only now that I've found Christ that your oppinion of me doesn't matter.

it starts with MATURITY
the realisation that God's oppinion of me matters most.
METANOIA
A change of heart, making GOD my center and my source of strength.
CONFIDENCE
confidence in you oh Lord for I am your masterpiece.

only then did it all make sense for I am:
Made in your perfect image.
you sent your son to die for me..
your love for me is nothing nothing this world has ever seen...
only your opinion of me Lord matters most.

you say you put us through tests to strengthen us.

being made to feel as small as a musterd seed my entire life hasn't strengthened me, but my faith as small as a musterd seed can moved mountains.

lessons are learned from all challenges, could this be a sign, something you would like me to learn?

yes absolutely...
the mouth is a dangerous weapon
for you said life and death are in the power of the tongue.
so be:
kind
graceful
humble
for your words could shatter ones
confidence
self esteem
or even their sense of self worth.