Randy Johnson Poems

When I was a child, I hated the sun because it melted the snow.
When it was all melted, school was where I had to go.
The teachers liked to paddle over the least little things.
When I think about it, bad memories are what it brings.
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(This is a fictional poem but life in prison really is horrible.)

A man slept with my girlfriend so I shot him in the face.
Now I'm in a maximum security prison and I hate this place.
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(This is a fictional poem)

I lost the most precious thing on Earth.
My beloved wife died during childbirth.
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(This is a true story)

Buster was my cat and he was the best.
He died this morning and I'm depressed.
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(This is a fictional poem)

A man is pointing his 44 at my head.
If he pulls the trigger, I'm dead.
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You follow the black customers around the store where you work.
You think they're going to steal things because you're a jerk.
What you've been doing is wrong and I've spoken to the proprietor.
He says he'll be watching and if he catches you, you'll be walking out the door.
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(Dedicated to Roy Scheider who died February 10,2008.)

You starred in Jaws and in SeaQuest DSV.
People also loved seeing you in 2001: A Space Odyssey.
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(This is a fictional poem)

When people pick on me, I say 'I'm going to tell my daddy on you.'
All of my friends say that I shouldn't do that because I'm forty-two.
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(Dedicated to Jim Henson who died May 16,1990.)

While you lived, you brought life to puppets.
You were the one who created the Muppets.
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Barack Obama is a candidate who I like to promote.
On April the 22nd, he'll need Pennsylvania's votes.
If he wins, he will be a great leader for the USA.
He's a man who won't lead this country astray.
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