The Right-Sided Diet
I made a dietary breakthrough the other day
Although it won't help mankind in any big way,
Or womankind either, if it comes to that,
It's about a problem I have with a bit too much fat.
I need a right-sided diet, but I haven't found one yet
Although I spent a week surfing the internet.
Our pharmacist said, 'No, I haven't got one of those.'
And he either laughed or had a tickle up his nose.
I wrote to the top chemists explaining what I lack,
But none of them have sent an answer back.
Well, I don't mind if the world laughs at me,
I need a right-sided ...