Vaida Marea (3/12/91)

So....i feel like i need a place to vent and this would be it...i just broke up with my boyfried...lol don't worry i'm not sad. we were together for like 4 days. lame. i just...don't get what is wrong with me. i write and think and talk so much about something that i feel is completely out of my reach...love. i want to be in love but not at the expense of my freedom; it's a delicate balance i've realized...the smallest things make me feel as if i'm trapped. i have two theories as to why.1) i'm just not that mature...this is a theory i reject but when i really think about is probably (though painfully) true.2) i date jerks. the end. i have only ever been with two types of guys: cheaters and controllers. i think i look for these people and am then dissapointed when they perform their role. and when i do meet someone nice i think i look purposely to find the bad in them. i look for them to exhibit signs of being a cheater or a control freak. i have trouble being happy. and i think maybe all people feel this way. maybe as much as we all crave connections, we are all too jaded, too cynical, too scared to let love in and to be hurt. i could do this all night but i have to go...i apologize for any spelling/grammar issues as i'm just trying to get down my feelings and saying 'screw the rest' haha i guess im a hypocritical grammar nazi. lol

Peace,
V.