Which is it harder to do
A woman’s mind to understand
Or to drag a whale across the sand?
...
I was sitting in the park just biding my time
Trying to think of a topic for my next rhyme.
When this maiden strolled by,
Man she really looked neat
...
One night while sleeping in my chair
I met a lass who wasn’t there.
She bent and planted a big wet kiss
Upon my lips, what utter bliss.
...
Christmas, Chrisrmas, it’s never free,
Tho I pray to the saints that be.
It’s so sad,
But not all bad.
...
Got up today and was feeling so gay
Then remembered I had a lot of bills to pay.
All of a sudden I wasn't so sunny
Because I was completely out of money
...
Cheeseburger pie, cheeseburger pie,
How I love that cheeseburger pie.
I could eat it till I die.
When I go to the bye and bye,
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If a body meet a body comin' thru the grass
Should a body kiss a body and grab her by the ass?
—To tell you the truth,
—That sounds so uncouth,
...
This cop was a young galoot
Who never learned how to shoot.
—His pard said one day
—This never will play
...
One day when I was a lad
I was patrolling in my Spad
—I was flying over France
—By the seat of my pants
...
One day while climbing up Mt. Everest
I met a man who was the cleverest.
He was all dressed up in a Yeti suit
With scaly skin and hair to boot.
...