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Comments about this poem (0003 Sleeping Under Stars (2)
by
Lori Boulard
) |
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comments about this poem (0003 Sleeping Under Stars (2) by
Lori Boulard
)
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Don Mcwilliams
(2/25/2008 5:52:00 PM) |
Lori,
Change nothing. This is just perfect, as is, where is. I have printed it as protection against the possibility that you might react to the influences that would urge you to deviate from the voice that drives you. Thank you.
Don
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John Kay
(2/25/2008 8:18:00 AM) |
Lori...another great poem. Today is my lucky day. I agree with everything Sherrie said, except for the suggestion to change the ending to 'carry.' The word 'hold' seems to suggest the weight of the universe, the stars, referred to in the first stanza, holding the poem together as a whole. You really do have a grasp of the 'pay-off' in your conclusions. John
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Ernestine Northover
(2/25/2008 8:12:00 AM) |
Lovely second piece, following on beautifully from the first one. A pleasure to read.
Love and hugs Ernestine XXX
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Roger Cornish
(2/24/2008 5:17:00 AM) |
I wouldn't change a thing!
(10)
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THE LAST REMNANT OF SANITY BIDS YOU ADIEU
(2/23/2008 8:59:00 PM) |
What woman (or man) couldn't relate to this? It reminds me of my 'Lullabies' (at my blog) -. Now, I'd end it with 'carry' - for me, the last line is too much information and I think the implication would be even more glaringly clear if you ended it with 'carry.' Again...I love the 'feeling' that I get from your masterful words.
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